Great Leaders Show Their Real Strength When Things Get Hard
People judge you as a leader by how you handle tough situations. Not how you celebrate wins, but how you act when things go sideways. Staying calm matters. “Never lose your cool” isn’t just a nice phrase—it’s a must.
That means no yelling. No raised voices. No frustrated sighs in front of the team. In theory, I thought I nailed this already. I was wrong.
There’s one teammate who triggers me every time he opens his mouth. I know I’m biased, probably from past run-ins. He walks into every discussion like it’s a personal crusade and only points out what’s wrong, never how to fix it. That gets under my skin.
But frustration doesn’t give me permission to drop my standards. Losing my temper or being harsh won’t help. If I want to be the leader I claim to be, I need to keep control—even when it’s hard.
Here’s what actually work for me to stay cool:
- Pause before you answer → The urge to react fast is real, but even breathing for three seconds helps.
- Write out your response in Notepad or Slack, then delete it → The act of typing it out calms your brain. Don’t send it. Edit it down. Stay factual.
- Privately address the pattern. Have a 1:1. Don’t accuse. Say, “I notice we’re often stuck in problem-mode without moving to solutions. How can we shift?”
- Remind yourself what your position means. If you lose your cool, everyone sees it as a green light to do the same.
It’s a skill. You don’t master it after one tough meeting, or even a dozen.
The point is to get a bit more steady every time.
That’s how you earn trust—not by being perfect, but by standing strong (and having integrity) when it matters.