If you’re leading engineers, you know the silent killer isn’t bad code → it’s constant interruptions. I see this every week. One of my direct reports drags through Friday burned out, not by hard problems, but by firefights and “urgent” requests that never stop.
He knows the real problem - lack of boundaries. But setting them? That’s the hard part, especially in a startup where “agile” can become code for “always available.”
Here’s what I’ve learned actually works:
1. Make Writing It Down Mandatory
When someone drops a “can you just…” in chat, that’s a red flag. I coach my team: No ticket or one-page request, no work. It’s not bureaucracy. It guarantees we’re solving the right problem, not just the loudest one. This isn’t about saying no. It’s about creating a written source of truth to avoid chaos.
2. Practice Direct Feedback
Engineers hate confrontation. So we role-play. After a meeting that could have been a Slack message, you say: “Great chat, but next time, let’s async this.” You don’t need to be rude; you need to be consistent. This rewires everyone’s habits.
3. Leverage Your Manager’s Authority
I tell my team: Use my name if you need backup. ”This is our new process, my manager wants us to stick to it.” This gives them cover to enforce boundaries, which is half the battle.
The result?
Less frustration, more real work, less thrash. The team delivers. Your engineers learn to protect their time—and with it, their energy to actually build.
That’s what makes real impact.